Cultivating a Relationship with Creativity
This occasionally tumultuous affair requires a loving life-time commitment.
As I packed up the diaper bag and prepared to take baby E. to Austin’s Deep Eddy Pool, the bookshelf called to me and a voice in my head whispered an invitation. Take something with you, it said. I scanned the titles and selected Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear. I remembered loving the book but not much else. I threw it in the bag, gathered the Bean and off we went, determined to outsmart an ungodly 108-degree day with a refreshing soak in the state’s oldest swimming pool.
If you know me well, you likely know how rare it is for me to re-read a book. It almost never happens. In fact, outside of a few movies, I typically don’t like to re-experience things. I’m not about to watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine over and over again, even though I really enjoyed it the first time. Why would I? I already know what happens, and there are tons of things I haven’t experienced yet.
With the exception of The Departed (which I will watch whenever it’s on), Tick Tick Boom (which is a master class in unapologetic, albeit narcotic, creative living that inspires me endlessly) and the three-week period where R. and I got high on edibles and watched The Skeleton Twins every single weekend (laughing hysterically and breathlessly each time), I usually put a lot of space in between one viewing and the next, if I do it at all.
But I’m so grateful that I felt the nudge to break my unofficial rule about re-reading books. Big Magic is a truly life-changing read. I’d go so far as to say that I’m even more inspired by Ms. Gilbert’s words the second time around. I’ll tell you exactly why: Creativity is magical. It is the means through which we commune with the universe and come to understand her mysteries. And the cool part is that everyone has the ability to be in partnership with creativity. We all have equal access to this enigmatic fount of inspiration. It is our birthright to make/build/write/craft/create great and wondrous work.
Now, before you worry that you, dear reader, are not a creative or inspired person, let me give you some examples that are beautiful in their nuance and may just expand your vision of what it means to live a creative life.
I’ll start with my amazing aerialist friend K., who was (and still is to some extent) my long-time pole partner. She comes up with incredible acrobatic routines on the pole, lyra, cube, sling and basically any apparatus available. She searches the internet for inspiration but often adds her own spin to the tricks and combinations.
And while she has a natural affinity for movement and teaching others (even gals who, ahem, can’t figure out their limbs when inverted), she also works really hard on her craft. Here’s the kicker: K. doesn’t perform, even though she could. She does post her most death-defying feats on the socials, but primarily, she does all of this fantastic creativity for herself and her own pleasure.
Then, there’s my friend S., who has not only agreed to help me bury a body should the occasion arise, but she’s also done multiple through-hikes, including the Pacific Crest Trail (the PCT of Wild fame) and the Appalachian Trail. Although S. might not describe it this way, her ability to navigate complex situations and thrive in the wild is nothing short of powerfully creative. I could not do what she does. It takes so much grit and know-how and on-the-fly thinking. Like K., S. shares her journey on social media, but the hiking itself is just for her.
My husband falls into this group as well. Although he might also shy away from calling himself creative, R. has a vast knowledge of guitars. He lives and breathes this interest. He’s been playing since his youth, worked at Guitar Center for a time (setting some sales records while he was at it) and had several gigs performing at bars around Columbus, OH, back in the day.
We have five guitars in our home right now, and R. is always ready and willing to talk about them. This would be incredibly boring to listen to if it weren’t for his enthusiasm (and sometimes it still is boring, but he listens to me drone on about writing, so it’s more than a fair trade, and I try my best to be engaged). R. is also taking his creativity to the next level by beginning to gather the tools to be able to make his own guitars. This is something I’ve wanted for him for a long time. I can’t wait to see his artistry on full display.
OK, one more: My sister-in-law J. has a passion for flower arranging. She’s taken some workshops and although her full-time job and motherhood and probably life in general have limited the amount of time she can spend on this extracurricular, she is very talented. I always enjoy seeing her work.
What I hope these examples showcase is the range through which creativity can be understood. Not everyone needs to be a writer or painter or fashion designer to tap into the universe’s magic. You can just be you and do a thing that sets your soul on fire. You can do it quietly, inconspicuously, without the knowledge or approval or input of anyone else around you. But what is most important is that you find a way to do it.
For me, the relationship with creativity is a til-death-do-us-part situation. I can’t live without it, and better still, I refuse to go on in its absence. Sometimes inspiration is fickle and occasionally it leaves me, but it always returns when I need it most. How do I achieve this feat when so many complain about writer’s block or some other inspiration deficit or form of stagnancy? I cultivate it.
One way I do this is in alignment with the advice in Big Magic—I become the type of person inspiration would want to date. I shower, paint my face, dress up, put on perfume and go out to the coffee shop. This is another time when shameless flirting comes in handy. I’m no expert, but I firmly believe the universe’s love language is part words of affirmation, part acts of service and sexy sprinkling of quality time.
Another way is by having an understanding of how inspiration speaks to me. Then, I have a process for translating those sweet nothings into something tangible. In the instance of creating this newsletter, I always know a post is ready for me to write when I can hear the opening sentence. Ninety percent of the time, I have already written what I plan to express in my mind before it ever flows out into Microsoft Word. I also know that if I focus, I can finish nearly any project in one go, which is how I like it.
There are exceptions of course. The book I’m writing is an ongoing endeavor, as was a deeply personal essay I wrote for a literary magazine that I hope to share with you very soon. You have to compromise in your relationship with inspiration. At the very least, I can usually get something written if I just sit my ass down to do it. The forces of creative magic rarely leave me hanging if I put in the effort to seduce them.
Keep in mind that I’m not special this way. Everyone has the ability to coax inspiration from the universe and live their own version of creative magic. I don’t know what your process is, but I know that once you find it, you’ll be able to make your relationship with creativity Facebook official (if you choose). You can also let it fly under the radar. Just don’t let it get away. Like any relationship worth fighting for, you’ve got to commit.
One more thing before I let you go. If you’re interested in owning your creative magic as a writer but feel intimidated or overwhelmed or an urge to run and hide, consider coming to my upcoming workshop. It is designed to help you find your unique process (not conform to mine).
To that point, don’t worry if you like my writing but aren’t interested in writing like me. For one, I want you to write like you. Not because I am worried you’ll do me better than me, but because you have your own voice and style that is far better than trying to replicate someone else’s. For another, I’ve been at this so long I’ve acquired NUMEROUS bad habits. I’m going to set you up for success, so you avoid doing the same.
But whether you want to unleash your inner writer or another creative pursuit altogether, please don’t wait for the right time or circumstances. These perfect scenarios never present themselves. Sometimes you have to lose sleep or hustle or settle for adequate circumstances. You can do it, and I know the second you try, you’ll understand why sacrificing for creative living was worth it all along.
With pleasure,
Yes, Misstrix