"Everything Came Off."
A sexy conversation with boudoir photographer extraordinaire, Katy Rayne Roberto.
Here at Yes, Misstrix, I often have the pleasure of speaking with amazing people doing fascinating work in the realm of sex, sensuality, sexuality and desire. This week, I’m sharing a conversation with Katy Rayne Roberto, the genius behind Katy Rayne Photography and (in my opinion) the High Priestess of Boudoir Magic. The following is a transcription of our conversation about embracing boudoir, breaking clients out of their shells and broadening the definition of sexy.
Yes, Misstrix: Tell me a little bit about yourself and your work.
Katy Rayne Roberto: I am Katy Rayne Roberto, and I have a photography business where I mainly focus on boudoir and fantasy/fairy tale portraits, mostly for women. I started by getting a little bit of this type of work here and there, and that really evolved significantly.
Really, I went from doing commercial work and product photography, but I found myself getting really bored. It felt mundane to be working with objects, so I started doing more portrait work, which slowly evolved into what I do now.
I have a background in dance, and I used to be a burlesque dancer. So, a lot of my friends who were with me in that part of my life kept pushing me to do boudoir. I think that’s because I’m much more open and carefree with that kind of work, you know what I mean? I’m uninhibited in that sense where I'm totally cool with it. If you want to get down and dirty, and then get some sauciness going. Or, if you want to keep it mellow and a bit more conservative, I’m OK with that. I’m open to all of it basically. So, that, in a nutshell, is how I got here.
YM: That’s an awesome journey, and I imagine having the background in burlesque dance is so helpful for this work. Would you say that boudoir photography is one of the ways you’ve found your niche and made a name for yourself?
KRR: Yeah, which is surprising. I would have thought it would have been elsewhere, but I never thought it would be in this area because I never even considered it. Does that make sense? What I mean is that it's still quite popular in that women and men are getting it done, but for some reason, in my community of other photographers, it just wasn't talked about as much. I think they look down upon it, which is a topic for a whole other interview.
YM: Very interesting. Can you tell me a little bit about why you think this is, now that you’ve been doing boudoir photography for a while?
KRR: So, a lot of the portrait photography education out there online and whatnot is really heavily focused on personal branding and also just kind of the more modern glam photography, which is basically what you see like on magazine covers and on Vogue and stuff like that. Because that’s what’s out there, I think that’s what has become accepted as the norm. I think that boudoir, even though it's not new and has been around a long, long time, is less visible.
In regards to why it’s not accepted, there are a lot of factors for why people look down on it. Some people are really not OK with women being confident in their bodies and their sexuality and wanting to express it and celebrate it in any way, shape or form.
That’s why I never considered doing it before. It had always been something that was considered a bad thing to do. You would hear things like, “Oh, don’t do that because it’s basically pornographic,” but the truth is that there’s actually a lot of beauty in it that someone wouldn’t necessarily discover until they’ve done it themselves and are immersed in it.
For example, a large majority of my clients come to me or inquire about the boudoir photoshoots because they want to do something for their partner. They want to give them a sexy gift. And almost always, when they’re in the actual session and afterwards, they come to realize that it’s really about them. It’s more empowering than they realize, and it has nothing to do with their partner.
YM: What a wonderful discovery to make in those circumstances. It sounds like your clients love the sessions, which is great. What do you love about them? What is your favorite thing about doing these types of shoots?
KRR: I think it allows me to be more fully myself. Because I think like a lot of women feel that we need to be a specific way. We have a tendency to avoid indulging in our full selves authentically. I think we have a pattern as women to really just kind of hide certain parts of ourselves, and I know I've done that in the past, too.
Specifically, after getting married and having kids, I found myself changing to be less of myself. I was afraid to be more eccentric, sexy, and eclectic. Instead, I found myself following the path of being like, “Oh, well, I’m a mom now and I’m in this relationship now, so I have to hide these aspects of myself.”
But, I feel in doing these photoshoots, I'm not only going through them for my clients, I’m going through an evolution myself. I’m in the process of coming back to myself, and then, I also get to help other people get there as well, whether or not they realize that’s what’s happening.
YM: That brings me to my next question about how you’re able to do that. I imagine that the boudoir shoots can sometimes be intimidating for clients. How do you make them feel comfortable and pull them out of their shells?
KRR: That's where it takes a little bit of work, so I always offer champagne and charcuterie and little snacks. That helps to loosen things up a little bit. Then, they’re getting into hair and makeup to help set the mood. What it really comes down to is a conversations that I have with them, sometimes before and always during.
If I find that there's some uncomfortableness, I always communicate to them, like, “Hey, we have this option to just do some lovely posing on the bed” or something like that. And for some women, if that feels uncomfortable, we don't have to do that. I always make them feel comfortable by saying that we don't have to do all these things if it doesn't feel right for you.
During the shoots, I also try to get different facial expressions and emotions. A lot of people come to me and tell me that they don’t want to have resting bitch face, and I’m like, “Girl, I get it.” But then, I also have a lot of women that make that expression you always see on Instagram and stuff like that, and I'm like, “Actually, we can do this better.” I can help them show way more emotion than they feel they are capable of, and a lot of that has to do with breathwork. I always have to do breathwork to help clients relax and get out of their heads.
And some people I can just flirt with them, and they flirt right back. Some people just natural hams. I have other people where I literally have to set the scene. You know what I mean? Like, I'm the director and I'm coming to them as my actress, right? I'm like, “OK, you're at the bar. You're waiting for your bestie to come. You've got your martini, and there’s this other guy at the bar…” I go through the whole scene, and it's like, “He gives you the look and you just start to play with your hair,” you know? I have to set the scene, and they start to slowly get it and “get into the mood,” so to speak. Those have been my most effective ways of making clients comfortable.
YM: That’s excellent. I’m sure it took a bit of experimentation to put your finger on what works for people.
KRR: And I still feel like everybody's different. A lot of times, I start with the techniques that work for them. Some people love to laugh, and then there are others that, like I said, are really flirtatious. Then there are some people who are just like, “I don’t like to laugh, and I don’t like to do this and that.” That’s when I'm like, Challenge accepted!
YM: So, tell me about one of your favorite boudoir shoots. What happened? What was so great about it?
KRR: It's so funny. It was actually two friends, and they came in together. I had photographed one of them before in the past, and we had done a Poison Ivy photoshoot. She'd already experienced me and the whole thing, so she wanted to invest in this experience for herself but had a friend that wanted to do it with her. They were really fun women, you know? They were totally different, but the vibe was so fun. It was in July and was the hottest day of the year. I want to say that it was the second Saturday of July, and it was just ridiculously hot. I had the air-conditioning blowing, and it was still like 80-something degrees. We were sweating, and at one point, I’m pretty confident those girls were just wearing their thongs. Everything came off.
But overall, it was really fun and very creative. They came with a lot of different outfits and different looks. They were also a lot more comfortable with being vulnerable and sensual. That makes it a lot easier and a lot more fun for me because then I can be all wild and balls out and “Let’s do this, girls!”
YM: Do people generally come to you with some of their own ideas or do they look to you to do more directing?
KRR: It's usually me. What’s funny is that the women that are more into fantasy/fairy tale, they have a lot more of an idea of what they want because they're already creative. They make their costumes, and they already have something in mind. They have these visions, but when it's my boudoir women, they tell me that they don't really know what to do.
In those cases, I ask a lot of questions to get a really good idea of what they want to look like, what they want to have, what they're open to what, they're not open to, etc. I don't think I've had one client that refused my angel wings. That is a given, regardless. But overall, it depends on what the client is coming to me for.
YM: Tell me about what a boudoir photoshoot looks like from start to finish. What can people expect if they come to you for one of these?
KRR: What they can expect is that we always have that first initial phone call where we really discuss the different ideas of what they have, what they're looking for, what they are using this photoshoot for, you know? Is it meant to be a gift for somebody else or is it just them celebrating a momentous time in their lives? Are they just feeling themselves, and they’ve been thinking about doing this for a while? Then, from there, they decide whether or not they want to work with me.
Then we do another phone call, usually about two months before their photoshoot, where I really dive in with them. I ask all the questions about what they like, what they’ve been looking at on Pinterest because I always tell them to create a board of things that they like on Pinterest. It could be old Hollywood glamour looks, it could be makeup looks, all of it. I want to know, so that way my team and I are prepared and can give the client what they want.
We just don't want to have anything be a surprise the day of. I don't want anybody to come back to us later and be unhappy with the photos. My approach is to prepare beforehand, and if need be, please communicate with my team for hair and makeup. Don't be shy if you don't like something because they're more than willing to change it. I tell the client that this is all about them. This is not my show at that point. How they look is up to them.
From there, that's when we usually will go through the outfits and decide which one will be first and really just go from there. Once they get out there, that's when I usually start to try having them pose and see how comfortable or uncomfortable they are. Determining that will help me decide what methods I use to get them in the zone. I usually will take them through as many emotions as I can just to create variety because sometimes, you can get some of the better photos and moments that were not expected.
YM: How long are these shoes?
KRR: The whole day is about 4 to 5 hours. Hair and makeup take about an hour to an hour and a half, and then between outfit changes and some breaks, they can take that much time.
YM: How many photos do people generally get from a shoot like that?
KRR: That varies on a lot of factors, including what they decide. I always provide them with about 100 to choose from. And some of my clients will go as little as six photos, and some of them go higher to around 20 or so because they're thinking of getting the album for their partner, of course. And then sometimes, they really love having a something pretty of themselves on the wall. I love it when they want to get a canvas. I get all excited because it’s something you want to have displayed on a regular basis versus putting it away in an album and forgetting about it. The canvas is a constant reminder. I’m a huge supporter of wall art.
YM: That sounds very cool! Say someone is considering a boudoir shoot and maybe some wall art. What advice do you have for people to help them figure out what kind of style they want to express?
KRR: Really, my biggest advice for trying to figure out what kind of style they want is to go to Pinterest and to start creating a board. They should start by liking a whole bunch of stuff and when they go back to it, they can see where the common denominator is. They can see that they’re really loving this more boho, into-the-wild kind of boudoir session. That’s something we can do.
My advice for them, though, is just knowing that in the end, this really has nothing to do with their partner. It’s really all about giving themselves this time to be pampered and all that jazz. It's like you're exploring yourself and allowing yourself to get vulnerable and to really become who you are. On top of that, you know that you can trust your photographer to be there with you and stay there no matter what happens.
I've had gals come in with high-waisted booty shorts and a boyfriend’s sweatshirt. And that was the shoot. It wasn't too risqué. Then, I have the girls that are just in a fishnet top and crotchless panties. So, it just depends on what they’re comfortable with and knowing that whatever it is, it’s still beautiful. There’s a range of sexy, so I don’t think it’s fair to box it in and say that a boudoir shoot is only lingerie and boom! There's so much more because it's a feeling, it's her vibe and it's who she is that is sexy. She's a badass regardless. You can be a total romantic, and it’s sexy. Everybody is sexy, but I think a lot of people don't realize they are, so they have to kind of feel it. That's what's so great about the photoshoot. We show you the photos, and then everybody realizes like, “Oh, damn. I’m hot!”
I have so many people that are like, “I want to lose weight beforehand. I want to do this. I want to do that.” And I’m always like, “Girl, you're fabulous the way you are. Stop that shit!” You get to be a part of their awakening in that as they’re discovering it.
YM: I love how you worded that. So, have you done one of these types of shoots for yourself?
KRR: I have. And I actually want to work with another local photographer because I really like her style better, but I do enjoy the experience in and of itself. What I had done before was not quite the same experience that I provide, but I was still in different lingerie, I was in my wings. It’s fun, and it's very freeing. I felt I know the word empowering comes out a lot, but I felt free more than anything else.
YM: Tell me a little bit about what you’re offering right now. You do parties, correct?
KRR: I’m actually going to be offering those year-round. They are great for celebrating whatever the f they want. And I'm all about celebrating the little things. I always work with brides and their bachelorette parties, some really fun birthdays, and girls night out parties.
YM: That’s right! Speaking of the bride/bachelorette sessions, one of the photos that I’m obsessed with on your website—well, there are a lot of them, but one of them—is the bride is in white and all her bridesmaids are around her posing with vintage cameras.
KRR: Oh, thank you! Yeah, these parties can be themed. It doesn't necessarily need to be a situation where everybody comes wearing their favorite underwear set. We could do something fun and sexy with outfits where nothing is really fully exposed. That can be fabulous, too.
YM: This was a wonderful interview, Katy. Thank you so much for your time. Is there anything else that you wanted to share before we wrap up?
KRR: I just really enjoy doing this work, and I felt like the parties were a great natural progression because I used to throw the parties in my studio as promotions. The idea was to come and get your boudoir photoshoot, but then the experience was that I would bring together all these women that didn’t know each other. That was the brilliant part. A lot of them were complete strangers, and I was providing the champagne. I had a few naughty games involved, and we had some fun surprises.
At that point, everybody starts to get really comfortable and extremely supportive of each other. I would have these racks of clothes and some of my different wings, and everybody was just changing it up. I had things set up as like selfie sets, so I wasn't necessarily the photographer with the camera like I am with my boudoir parties. This was more like your friend is taking your photo. What I did was I’d go sit down with each person, and I would walk them through my process and get them in the right mood and pose them. I would do the breathing exercise with them and help creating the scenario to get them into this different look and feel of being all fabulous and fascinating.
Then, the person’s friend would be behind me with their phone to take the pictures. Then, all of a sudden, these women were doing it for each other. They've never met and they don't know each other, and they're totally pumping them up like these little hype girls. They're screaming at we're going, “Yes!” That changed everything. The energy was so great, and everyone’s confidence was on fire. That’s what sold me to take things in that direction because women are very supportive of each other, and we can lift each other up in such a beautiful way. I think that also needs to be celebrated in and of itself.
With pleasure,
Yes, Misstrix
P.S. Know someone who might be interested in working with Katy? Or someone who could benefit from her wisdom? Or a person for whom sexy selfies are no longer cutting it? Share this post using the button below ;)