Everything I’ve Learned from My Child About Emoting
From dramatic floor-flopping tantrums to the kind of uncontained hysterical laughter that happens on a dime.
Sometimes I have a story I’d like to tell you, but I don’t feel funny or inspired enough to get it onto the page in a way that will do it justice. That’s when I write what’s living rent-free in my brain instead. This is one of those times, and so, this is what I’d like to share with you today.
My daughter is learning some new moves at daycare, and I totally approve. The first thing we noticed is that E.’s dancing has gotten noticeably more enthusiastic. There are booty bounces and stomps, whooping sounds and raising the roof. It’s truly fantastic. The other night before bed, R., Bean and I cut a rug to The Strokes. She went all in on style, and I like to think that the Latinas at her Spanish-immersion daycare are teaching her all the most important ways to get down.
I pole dance, and still, I’m like “daaaamn Bean! Get after it!” She’s years ahead of her mother who only formally ecstatic danced for the first time recently. E. only ever ecstatic dances. And if the daycare is playing music when we drop her off, grooving to the beat takes precedence over her performative tears.
The other essential move E. leaned recently is how to fist bump. Yes, my almost 17-month-old child now gives knucks. The other evening, R. held out his fist and she bumped it without even looking. Her expression also made it clear that this was a daycare move that R. couldn’t possibly understand, and he should not, under any circumstances, do that in public and embarrass her in front of her friends. The Bean is a vibe. What can we say?
When I was sending my mom pics of her only granddaughter this weekend, I included a few dance videos as well as a shot of E. passed out on her plush elephant chair. She’s started putting herself down for a nap around the hour she usually has quiet time at daycare. “It’s good she knows when she’s tired,” my mom texted. “If there’s one thing you can say about E., it’s that she always knows exactly what she wants,” I wrote back.
And that is 1000 percent true. Kids pretty much always know what they want. They are enviably in tune with their own emotions, desires and needs. They may not be able to articulate what these things are precisely, but they have an intimate awareness of them.
Think about the last time you knew exactly what you felt, wanted or needed. You can probably think of an example, but you can probably also think of an abundance of other examples where you didn’t express it, go after it or get after it like your life depended on it. If you’re anything like me, you probably came up with an excuse about why it wasn’t possible or necessary or worthwhile or in your best interest or a priority right now (and possibly ever).
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