These are such thoughtful questions, and I am confident there are an abundance of appropriate answers based on who is asking. Here are some of my initial thoughts: I do not believe that long-term relationships are always exciting (as this is often a sign of rollercoaster-esque toxicity), but I do think that once partners have lost the ability to communicate about their sexual needs and desires, something is amiss.
Aside from asexual relationships where there is a commitment to closeness without sexual intimacy, I think most partners want to be sexually fulfilled. They want to have hot sex, and sometimes, they are willing to pay the potentially high price of cheating to get those needs met. I think most people make that decision with their eyes wide open to the fact that things could go very wrong.
I also think women who opt to cheat instead of continuing to communicate often feel like their attempts to talk things through have stalled or been rebuffed. That was the case for Nicki. Alternatively, for women who haven't exhausted those options, trying couple's therapy or working with a sex therapist or communicating with radical honesty could get her the more that she wants without stepping out on her partner.
These are such thoughtful questions, and I am confident there are an abundance of appropriate answers based on who is asking. Here are some of my initial thoughts: I do not believe that long-term relationships are always exciting (as this is often a sign of rollercoaster-esque toxicity), but I do think that once partners have lost the ability to communicate about their sexual needs and desires, something is amiss.
Aside from asexual relationships where there is a commitment to closeness without sexual intimacy, I think most partners want to be sexually fulfilled. They want to have hot sex, and sometimes, they are willing to pay the potentially high price of cheating to get those needs met. I think most people make that decision with their eyes wide open to the fact that things could go very wrong.
I also think women who opt to cheat instead of continuing to communicate often feel like their attempts to talk things through have stalled or been rebuffed. That was the case for Nicki. Alternatively, for women who haven't exhausted those options, trying couple's therapy or working with a sex therapist or communicating with radical honesty could get her the more that she wants without stepping out on her partner.